We all heard that Yoga might be banned for Muslims by the government pending some approval and consent from the higher powers. The religious decree fatwa (pronounced as fart-wa) submits that it is illegal or haram because it has chanting and cause Muslims to deviate from their religion and it will have less Muslim bodies to bury hence the ‘body-snatching’ activities going on.
After spending much time and tax-payer’s money on this ridiculous decree, it was put on hold because they finally realized that either they are retarded or there are better things to be banned rather than Yoga. So they go on to rip off our petrol money and put a floor price and further talk crap about using the money to improve our public transport. As far as we know for the last 10 years, the only thing that is improving in public transport is the price of the ticket and nothing more. So, since the members of the Parliament prefer to argue other things like bocor, Bigfoot and bloody bastard, rather than actual real serious issues, here are some things that in my opinion are better banned than Yoga.
Rempits
Ah, the famous rempits. Terrorizing the streets at night and committing 3R against helpless civilians. While our IGP says Bolehland is still safe, the statistics of crime rate is rising as high as the money politics in some political party. Because of these rempits, the streets in Bolehland ain’t safe no more and you never know when you gonna get 3Red.
Why it wasn’t banned?
The local cops say, even though the crime rate is increasing, everything is under our control. With the latest statistic, our country is still safe. Although MPs argue that it is safe, but they ain’t got the balls to take a walk down the city streets without protection/bodyguards. Comparing this to Yoga, Yoga is more dangerous and ought to be banned because it will cause its followers to deviate from the true path of the religion and start to become militants and bombing buildings. After all, it is for your own good and prevention is better than cure.
Why it should be banned?
Let us compare these 2 ‘serious’ social ills.
| YOGA | REMPIT |
| - improve health and body balance - makes life longer - no crime commited - can see hawt girls in sexy gym outfit doing Yoga poses - pay monthly fees | - spread STD, AIDS & stupidity - will occasionally cause death to its rider and other people - commit crime - can see local .3gp porn acted my local rempits - getting robber and sexually assaulted |
Now, I’ll just let you guys decide which one to be banned, based on reasonable person’s thinking.
Multilevel Marketing
Another famous thing that deserves to be banned is Multi-Level Marketing or better known as mlm. With the famous Lamb Burger, Costway, Ampway, Herpeslife & Elk-len together with their motto ‘earn your friend’s money’, you start to ask your friends to join your downline so that you can get monre money to give to your team leader disguised as ‘commission’. In the end you remain poor together with your friends while your team leader becomes filthy rich with you and your friend’s money.
Why it wasn’t banned?
For one, it has nothing to do with religion, it’s all business. So they wouldn’t care less what’s happening to these so-called ‘companies’. Furthermore, they pay taxes and other monetary considerations to the ruling party, not to mention giving them 30% equity shares, who the heck wanna ban these piggy banks? Also, most of the people on top of the network line are all big shots in the society who are rich thanks to their downline’s hard work and contributions, who are mostly stupid and don’t know simple maths.
Why it should be banned?
Now, take a look at this pyramid scheme:-
This is the very basis of the Multi level marketing scheme. Also let us look at the abbreviation of the scheme - (mlm) – by looking at the sign, anyone know that they are being f*cked in their ass with a stick covered with gooey mucus. It’s a god-damned scam. Only greedy people (usually Chinese educated local university grads who can’t speak proper English and can’t read what’s i’m writing now) are usually cheated by these Marketiers.
Normally these Marketiers will always do the same opening statement. They will ask you whether you like money or not (who doesn’t?). Then they will continue to tell you how you can drive your first Merc/BMW at the age of 22 and they tell you some other scammers who are already driving BMWs at the age of 17 (of which is their dad’s car) and introduce you to the bigger scammers (the upper lines) who tells you about their real life story on how they scammed their friends. Finally the victim is brought in to the company’s headquarters to be brainwashed with motivational quotes and forced to read books like Rich dad, Poor dad or Rich me Poor you and Chicken soup for your retarded brain. After all this, the victims, being stupid will fall for their tricks and pay a fortune to join the scam. Once he joins the scam group, he is left to fend for himself to scam other people which include friends, families and other university grads. To make things better for them, the team leader will say things like ‘just treat it like an expensive lesson to learn in the business world if you failed’.
As for Yoga, you only pay for the member fees. Ok, maybe those sales consultants in certain centers will lie to you that ‘today is the last day of the promotion’ or ‘today is your first day incentive’ for a particular package and you have to pay 5 years upfront and realized that you are cheated to get the most expensive package in that year. But at least you get to go for Yoga lesson and see hawt chicks and faggy gay guys in the classes. In mlm, you must cheat and scam other innocent people and therefore, it is better to ban mlm – you know you are f*cked with the sign.
Incest
Ok, maybe this has been already banned, but hell it’s like a lot of incest cases happening around us everyday. Off all the crime a scum can do, incest is one of the most barbaric, inhumane scum shit that a person can do. It’s like animals, where a cat gives birth to 4 kittens and then the kittens rapes the mummy cat back and says ‘Mummy, this is how you made me’. Now that’s sick and nobody in their right mind would do that but hey, you still find these sick animals all over the place and here’s some famous quotes from them:-
If you planted a seed and the seed grows to a nice tree and bear fruits, of course you must be the first person to taste the fruits.
If the food is serve, you eat it, if not flies will come.
I own her pussy and I get to eat it.
Saya tengah ajar anakku seksual edukation.
This is brotherly love.
Why it wasn’t banned (with full authority enforcement)
If you can fantasies about your cousin, you can fantasies about your sister, mom, grandma and brother. You go out with your girlfriend and hold her hands, you gonna get caught for close-proximity. But if you hold your sister’s hands, you don’t get caught for close-proximity, get the picture? Ok it IS illegal to commit incest but the authority thinks that chanting in Yoga is more serious than banging your own sister or get mutated children which next time can be seen begging for money on the streets or asking money on TV for being retarded. These retards will further contaminate the people’s gene pool an waste other people’s chances to hit on somebody’s hawt sister.
Why it should be banned
Clearly nothing much to be said here as everyone knows that this is a crime and also a bad thing to do. No matter how hawt your mom is or that tongkat ali drink makes your 12 year old granddaughter looks like 17, it is not an excuse to even touch them. Taking care of retarded children is bad enough and there is no reason to add to the numbers of their population. No matter how much money you have given your sister or daughter for her studies or allowance, it will allow you to gain entry to her pussy. If you wanna pick up a hawt chick / hawt momma, it is better to go get it from Yoga classes where hawt milfs spend their time there to stay healthy.
Bomoh (without license)
Ah, yes the great magical Bomoh where they can treat even the incurable disease, whether physical or spiritual with only 1 type of treatment – sex. If you are possessed by some evil spirit, the Bomoh has a ‘magical rod’ (4-5 inches long) which can be used to exorcise the evil spirit away. If you have a terrible headache or fever and can’t afford to buy Panadol, the ‘magical rod’ can cure you. Oh what wonders can the ‘magical rod’ of a Bomoh can do. We all know that this is a scam but hey, as long as everyone is happy then it is ok to be paid to cure people through sex. Heck I also wanna be a Bomoh.
Why it wasn’t banned?
Now, this Bomoh thing is sometimes religious. They pray, chant, using herbs, lubricants, KY Jelly, contraceptives, rubber and recording the whole treatment with their phone for ‘future reference’ to cure patients is better than using Yoga to improve health. Maybe perhaps the Bomoh has made some nasi kangkang or paid ‘on the spot’ fine to the cops, we don’t know. Or maybe he had given them ‘urut batin’ or used his ‘magical rod’ against them is a question that we can never know.
Why it should be banned
If you think that is should not be banned, stop reading this article and go see the Bomoh for this magical rod treatment. Now, unless they have a professional ethical certificate or any declaration that they will conduct their treatment professionally, it would be wise to ban these con-artists from taking advantage of the public. Of course we cannot blame them fully as there is always the daftness of the people who seek treatment from them, but as the fatwa says “PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE’ , this shit deserved to be banned.
