In Part 2, I shall report on the convenient things that we have in life, the Vending Machine.In Japan, where people works like a mad cow Kobe cow (Kobe cow is a kind of cow which is pampered all their life, which they eat good food and go on massages and also hot spring baths, which in the end slaughtered for their meat. Their meat is almost 200 bucks per 100 lbs) everyday with full dedication and semangat in order to restore their country’s economy and rebuilding it, they have no time to do any leisure stuff. Thus they need lotsa things in life to be provided to them conveniently like those 7-11 convenient stores and also those instant noodles and stuff. Being a modern country, where they have high tech gadgets, robots and porns – they have created the most high tech convenient thing – the Modern day Vending machine.
So what’s so special about this Modern Vending machine? Let us now explore this gadget:-
1.The Technology
At first glance, it looks damn cool with all those fancy stuff on it. This thing is so high tech, they have some sensor which detects your presence and activates themselves for power saving and efficiency. Heck, they even wish you “konichiwa” when you go near them and when you insert coins into them, they say “arigato gosaimasu” (thank you). Damn, Japanese people are so polite even their machines are polite. Beat that Bolehland.
One must note that all the stuffs that these machines vend are good quality and in good condition. Those stuffs are so good, that even if you have nothing to buy, you just vend it from the machine just to use the friggin high tech machine and then say ‘now why the heck I even buy this thing for?’ after that. Also, these high tech machines guaranteed to work perfectly without problems and take your money without ‘eating’ it, and there’s no need to try with a 10 sen coin to see whether the machine works or not. And guess what, they even give back your change correctly. Now I don’t feel like buying things from humans anymore. (Unless the seller is some hawttie)
2.The Variety
As far as I’m concerned, you can vend anything in Japan. As shown in the above picture, you can vend Porn, oh yes, PORN as shown as the 1st picture, cup noodles, liquor, cigarette, ice creams, drinks, hot food, condom, vegetable, fruits, desserts, weeds, marijuana, cracks, condoms, Rophynol, steroids, shit and the list goes on. Hell, some day they even vend ecstasy pills too. Further, these machines are placed in strategic and convenient places, and it’s safe and sound to use it. With such variety, we don’t need to go to those shops where we have to face with grumpy sellers, or old ill-mannered assholes who selling stuff to you.
This is a porn vending machine. So you just like insert your money, then they will dispense a card for you to slot it to your hotel room TV so you have access to 24 hours of porn. Wow that's alot of porn.
3. Alternative Vending Machines
Being Japanese, they can’t stop having creative ideas to spice up their working life. So sometimes, getting stuff from normal vending machines are too easy and boring. You can’t get any satisfaction in using the item you get from the machine that way. Let see how the process go, 1. Insert coins, 2. Press your item, and 3. Use your item. So simple, even an idiot can do that, no skill needed. Therefore, to spice things up, they created some machines to put some challenge into it. There, you got the ‘Claw Catcher machine’ where is usually use to cheat young teenager’s money by making them catch soft toys for their girls. So what is so special about these machines?
Usually machines such as this manage to scoop up more money than ordinary high tech vending machine do. The trick is this, you insert the coin, and then you use the claw to catch the stuff you want. Simple enough? Yea right. But what you don’t know is this. The claws, if you noticed, are always loose, as in they won’t be able to strongly grasp the item you want. So a normal scenario will be like this:-
The guy inserts the coin and then grabs the toy. When the claw goes up, the toy will simply slip through the claws. And then the guy will go like ‘wtf is this shit’ and inserts another coin. The process is then repeated until they guy says ‘ok, f**k this shit, I’ll get you one from the soft-toy shop”
So in case you haven’t noticed, the claw will only hardens/stiffens when you put a certain amount of money into the machines. So you only have like 1/10000 chance to get the item inside.
Now let’s do some calculation here, 1 soft toy normally cost about 15 – 50 bucks. Normally these machines only put low quality china-made toys, so it only costs about 5-10 bucks. Let’s say that one try is 1 buck. Normally unless you’re friggin lucky, then u can get it on the 1st try. (I once got one on 1st try) so normally you have to try at least 25 – 30 times, so in the end it’s almost 30 bucks for a god-dammed soft toy. But then you feel satisfied cause you caught it with your sweat, effort and energy. Note the word ‘SATISFIED’ is very important here.
Therefore, these Japanese decided to put some other stuff other than soft toys into these Claw Machines, such as milk, ice cream, candies, duct tapes, condoms and what not. People nowadays don’t appreciate what they have and this is how they punish these people. With these machines, people will now be more appreciative with what they bought and be more satisfied when they consume their items. So the next time you use your condoms, you better be grateful that you do not need to try and catch it 10 times before you can actually use it.
Local Vending Machines
Sure enough in Bolehland, they also have vending machines but the contents are only limited to can soft drinks. Further people in Bolehland prefer to buy their drinks from some stall or shops. Why you may ask? As usual like any other things, Vending Machines in Bolehland are not reliable. 9 outta 10 machines doesn’t work, and the one which works will eat your coins and vend either nothing or rotten stuffs. Also, these machines don’t even greet you like Japanese machines do. At most you will be greeted by the notice ‘ROSAK’ pasted on it or the word ‘FACK U’ written on the machine, most probably by some mat rempits cause that’s the only English word the know, and they even spelled it wrong. Did I mention that they don’t return your change and also you must always try with a 10 sen coin to check whether it is working or not? Further most of these machines are located in dangerous spots where Mat Rempits hang out around them preying on helpless people like you and me so they can jump at them to 3R them.
This is a typical Bolehland vending machine. As you can see, it doesn’t work. So you’re better off go get the drinks from the nearby shop.
In conclusion, it is clear that even a war-torn country which was bombed by multiple A-Bombs can still be more modern and sophisticated than this wretched place. I also doubt that even if Bolehland decided to have high tech vending machines, it most probably wouldn’t last long cause it will be vandalized on the 3rd day they are installed. Like they say, First world facilities, Third world mentality. Sigh.
1.The Technology
At first glance, it looks damn cool with all those fancy stuff on it. This thing is so high tech, they have some sensor which detects your presence and activates themselves for power saving and efficiency. Heck, they even wish you “konichiwa” when you go near them and when you insert coins into them, they say “arigato gosaimasu” (thank you). Damn, Japanese people are so polite even their machines are polite. Beat that Bolehland.
One must note that all the stuffs that these machines vend are good quality and in good condition. Those stuffs are so good, that even if you have nothing to buy, you just vend it from the machine just to use the friggin high tech machine and then say ‘now why the heck I even buy this thing for?’ after that. Also, these high tech machines guaranteed to work perfectly without problems and take your money without ‘eating’ it, and there’s no need to try with a 10 sen coin to see whether the machine works or not. And guess what, they even give back your change correctly. Now I don’t feel like buying things from humans anymore. (Unless the seller is some hawttie)2.The Variety
As far as I’m concerned, you can vend anything in Japan. As shown in the above picture, you can vend Porn, oh yes, PORN as shown as the 1st picture, cup noodles, liquor, cigarette, ice creams, drinks, hot food, condom, vegetable, fruits, desserts, weeds, marijuana, cracks, condoms, Rophynol, steroids, shit and the list goes on. Hell, some day they even vend ecstasy pills too. Further, these machines are placed in strategic and convenient places, and it’s safe and sound to use it. With such variety, we don’t need to go to those shops where we have to face with grumpy sellers, or old ill-mannered assholes who selling stuff to you.
This is a porn vending machine. So you just like insert your money, then they will dispense a card for you to slot it to your hotel room TV so you have access to 24 hours of porn. Wow that's alot of porn.3. Alternative Vending Machines
Being Japanese, they can’t stop having creative ideas to spice up their working life. So sometimes, getting stuff from normal vending machines are too easy and boring. You can’t get any satisfaction in using the item you get from the machine that way. Let see how the process go, 1. Insert coins, 2. Press your item, and 3. Use your item. So simple, even an idiot can do that, no skill needed. Therefore, to spice things up, they created some machines to put some challenge into it. There, you got the ‘Claw Catcher machine’ where is usually use to cheat young teenager’s money by making them catch soft toys for their girls. So what is so special about these machines?
Usually machines such as this manage to scoop up more money than ordinary high tech vending machine do. The trick is this, you insert the coin, and then you use the claw to catch the stuff you want. Simple enough? Yea right. But what you don’t know is this. The claws, if you noticed, are always loose, as in they won’t be able to strongly grasp the item you want. So a normal scenario will be like this:-The guy inserts the coin and then grabs the toy. When the claw goes up, the toy will simply slip through the claws. And then the guy will go like ‘wtf is this shit’ and inserts another coin. The process is then repeated until they guy says ‘ok, f**k this shit, I’ll get you one from the soft-toy shop”
So in case you haven’t noticed, the claw will only hardens/stiffens when you put a certain amount of money into the machines. So you only have like 1/10000 chance to get the item inside.Now let’s do some calculation here, 1 soft toy normally cost about 15 – 50 bucks. Normally these machines only put low quality china-made toys, so it only costs about 5-10 bucks. Let’s say that one try is 1 buck. Normally unless you’re friggin lucky, then u can get it on the 1st try. (I once got one on 1st try) so normally you have to try at least 25 – 30 times, so in the end it’s almost 30 bucks for a god-dammed soft toy. But then you feel satisfied cause you caught it with your sweat, effort and energy. Note the word ‘SATISFIED’ is very important here.
Therefore, these Japanese decided to put some other stuff other than soft toys into these Claw Machines, such as milk, ice cream, candies, duct tapes, condoms and what not. People nowadays don’t appreciate what they have and this is how they punish these people. With these machines, people will now be more appreciative with what they bought and be more satisfied when they consume their items. So the next time you use your condoms, you better be grateful that you do not need to try and catch it 10 times before you can actually use it.Local Vending Machines
Sure enough in Bolehland, they also have vending machines but the contents are only limited to can soft drinks. Further people in Bolehland prefer to buy their drinks from some stall or shops. Why you may ask? As usual like any other things, Vending Machines in Bolehland are not reliable. 9 outta 10 machines doesn’t work, and the one which works will eat your coins and vend either nothing or rotten stuffs. Also, these machines don’t even greet you like Japanese machines do. At most you will be greeted by the notice ‘ROSAK’ pasted on it or the word ‘FACK U’ written on the machine, most probably by some mat rempits cause that’s the only English word the know, and they even spelled it wrong. Did I mention that they don’t return your change and also you must always try with a 10 sen coin to check whether it is working or not? Further most of these machines are located in dangerous spots where Mat Rempits hang out around them preying on helpless people like you and me so they can jump at them to 3R them.
This is a typical Bolehland vending machine. As you can see, it doesn’t work. So you’re better off go get the drinks from the nearby shop.In conclusion, it is clear that even a war-torn country which was bombed by multiple A-Bombs can still be more modern and sophisticated than this wretched place. I also doubt that even if Bolehland decided to have high tech vending machines, it most probably wouldn’t last long cause it will be vandalized on the 3rd day they are installed. Like they say, First world facilities, Third world mentality. Sigh.
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