Hello and welcome back to Part 2 of my investigation. In this article there will be a few more bizarre treatments or solutions that people in Bolehland seek to fulfill their fantasy or cure their diseases.
Nasi Kangkang (Nah-Seek Khang-Khang)
So girls, have you ever dreamt to have a boyfriend that looks like Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom? Do you think that your best friend’s boyfriend is damn good looking? Do you think that your friend’s brother is cute? Have you ever wondered how it feels like to have good looking guys licking your pussy feet? If you do, then why not try one of Bolehland’s famous delicacies, the ‘Nasi Kangkang’.
What the heck is that?
Practically speaking, ‘Nasi Kangkang’ literally means ‘Rice between Your Legs’ or sometimes known and ‘Period Rice’. Oh yea, the word ‘period’ has nothing to do with ‘time’ but rather this:
Which is something that comes once a month, red in colour and it's free.
Voila, ‘Nasi Kangkang’ is done and is ready to serve. Best to serve it hot together with some ‘sambal udang petai’ to cover up the period blood smell.
Good Lord!! Why?
‘Nasi Kangkang’ is believed to charm the eater into becoming the owner of the period’s slave. Usually girls will serve this shit to some guys and they will be charmed to do whatever the girls want them to do, from being a slave to clean up the house to licking her ‘you know what’. The guys, once eaten the rice, however will still look normal but constantly thinking of the period owner. So sometimes when you notice that this fugly girl who has a very rich and good looking boyfriend who is willing to die for her, we all know what she has been serving him for dinner.
What can we do about it?
Well for one, we can don’t eat this shit. But then the ‘cook’ will often tempt the guy to eat it like “awww, you don’t like my cooking, I spent 1 month opps err I mean hours making it” or “if you eat this, I shall reward you tonight” and all those other stuffs. So thanks to RJ’s intelligence, I shall tell you guys what to look out on these ‘cooks’. It is said that the ‘cook’ cannot eat satay on the stick itself. So the cook will like use the fork to remove the stick and eat the meat. Also, the cook doesn’t go out on Fridays because she has to worship some ‘stuffs’ to make the rice works. So the next time you go out with a girl who doesn’t eat satay from the stick or doesn’t goes out on Fridays, I think you know what to avoid.
Wa, the rice looks so nice, me make for u very hard wan o..come eat eat <3
Extreme Physical Body Massage (with or without weapons)
What the heck is that?
So do your body aches? You have fractured bones? Terrible migraine perhaps? Do you have evil spirits bothering you? You have this horrible pain all over your body and 10 bottles of pain-killer doesn’t help. But you’re smart enough to not go to the local hospital for professional advice and treatment and decide to meet ‘Doctor Pain Sa-Kit’ who got no proper convincing medical certificate whatsoever.
Dr Pain Sa-Kit - Here comes the pain
Believing in his motto of ‘you don’t feel pain anymore when you’re dead’ you allow him beat the crap outta your ass and thanking him in the process. Not to mention the ridiculous medical fees he’s charging you…just to kick your ass.
Good Lord!! Why?
Let us see his medical equipment:-
No matter how many times I look at it, it doesn’t look like anything a doctor will use. Not even a masseur uses these things to massage and stuff. Some stupid people believe that ‘when things get tough, you just gotta get tougher’ or ‘no pain no gain’ of which doesn’t actually applies in health problems. When a person is in pain, he should look for treatments to reduce the pain and not adding on the pain.
However certain people believe the saying ‘cure poison with another poison’ whereby to reduce the pain you’re suffering you gotta add on more pain. Ok now read the sentence in bold 10 times. Does it make sense? No, it doesn’t right? You feel stupid by just saying it loud. Further, these ‘medical practitioners’ fee doesn’t come cheap. Imagine the bill they give you after the treatment (if you survive) which says “For kicking your ass = 300 bucks, For no more pain after you’re dead = Priceless and “Thank you & Come again for more pain in the ass if you still not feeling well” doesn’t really help in convincing you that this treatment actually works.
What can we do about it?
Now, it’s not what can we do about it, it’s more like what can you do about it. So if you go in the place and you see this cert:-
You better use your grass infested brain and think 10 times on whether you should seek for a second PROFESSIONAL opinion before you ask the ‘doctor’ any question. Because if you don’t, RJ have a friendly reminder advise for you:-
No comments:
Post a Comment