*’kapchai’ is a small, cheap and low budget bike which is practically half scooter and half motocycle*
Rempits usually come out at night or the eve of public holiday, because in the day time they have to work so that they got sufficient money to pay for the petrol and buy cigarettes. When they are on the road, they will perform all sorts of tricks and stunts based on their imagination and inspiration such as:-
Superman
The main problem that rempits faces everyday is being poor. Being poor means that they cannot afford to buy plane tickets. Even though plane tickets nowadays cost as low as “it’s free to fly with us” – Tony F. still, they cannot afford the tickets due to airport taxes. Therefore, inspired by the world superhero Superman, Rempits decided to modify their bike so with the ‘jetplane-liftoff’ sound (it sounds as though a jet plane is lifting off, but it’s only the ‘sound’ and there’s no effect on the speed of the bike whatsoever) and when riding at night, they will lie down on their belly on top of the bike via ‘Superman Flying’ style and imagine that they are flying (after taking drugs/sniffing cow dung). Surprisingly, even though most of the Rempits never finish high school, they do know about the laws of physics as this stunt lessens the friction of the air.
Cicakman
Cicakman i.e. Gecko-man is a cheap local hybrid imitation between the western Batman and Spiderman. Rempits have the ability to stick onto their bike no matter what happens especially when they involve with an accident which actually ripped their bodies to shreds, we can still find their hands attached on the handles of the bikes like the sticky feet of the gecko. Also, this sticky hand ability is useful during hand-bag snatching and also hanging on their bike during races.
Deadman
Most rempits will perform this stunt at the end of their racing career. This is the most difficult and the only the most bravest Rempit can perform this stunt. (even the rempit king doesn’t have the balls to perform this). The Deadman stunt involves high-speed riding and then topples over the bike 760° and getting dragged by a truck on their belly until their intestines are all over the street. The most important thing is NEVER LET GO THE HANDLE OF THE BIKE if not the stunt is deemed to have failed. Sadly however, each rempit can only perform this stunt only once in their lifetime.
WOW!! Nice try, but this guy over here has failed the Deadman trick because he let go the handle of the bike. Oh well, better luck next time life.
Other Activities indulged by Rempits
1. Street Racing
The most popular of all activities. Each race involves gambling; with maximum bet of 5 bucks only because they are poor. However most of the time, they don’t have the money to bet so as a result, they bet with coke cans, marbles (guli), cigarettes butts, pubic hair and their bitches girlfriends.
2. Taking Drugs (actually, anything which makes them high)
Well, the term ‘taking drugs’ is very wide and we are not talking about ‘Heroin’ or cheap weed here because being poor rempits, the only drug they can ever afford is Panadol and in order to get high they must take the Panadol with Coke, which is totally out of their monthly budget. Therefore, rempits usually search for cheaper alternatives such as cheap glue-sniffing and sniffing cow-dung to make themselves high. (p/s: really, I’m not lying. At first I also don’t believe about the cow-dung thing until I interviewed this rempit guy, which I will post later in part 3)
this is the only kind of glue that a Mat Rempit can afford. However I really do not know how they get high on these.
3. 3R – Rempit, Rompak and Rogol (Ride, Rob and Rape)
Rempit’s MAIN objective in life. Ride, rob and then rape the poor victim. (Guys, if you are unlucky, you might get raped too by these sick gay rempits.) Rempits will 3R everyone they see if they have a chance. The famous notorious 3R rempit is the ‘Kampong Baru Molester’ who is a paedo-shit. This rempit will ride around certain area on his bike looking for young innocent little girls and ask them to search for his imaginary cats (which actually hidden underneath his pants) and then he molests the poor victims. Take note that this sick-shit was never caught. (and guess why?)
Further information of Rempit’s 3R activities can be found on local newspapers almost everyday, and yet no reasonable and workable measure was taken by certain bodies to curb these menaces.
*how can we normal citizens protect ourselves from these Rempits? Defense to Rempit will be posted at Part 3*
4. Gangbang
Rempits often indulge on random free sex between their herds. A partner of a rempit can be shared between every member of the herd. Even though some might argue that sex without protection is dangerous, but we must know that, Mat Rempits are impotent due to wearing tight jeans and riding on the bike whole day with their groin near a heated bike engine, (that actually fried up their balls you see) so there is no need for protection. Even in the event if their partner gets pregnant, they just gonna give birth to the baby and dump it in the toilet or a trash can. (Abandoned babies are common in the Rempit society) The common places where they engage in this activity are normally in abandoned buildings or at public toilets. Due to unhygienic area of their activities, 8 out of 10 Rempits have syphilis or herpes or both.
5. Lepak (sitting at shopping mall stairs)
The lepak trend, where Mat Rempits will take LRT or Monorail all the way from their homes and to shopping malls such as KLCC or Mid Valley just to sit at the stairways and serve as an obstacle to the public. Other than that, the other reason is they just wanna enjoy the air-con at the shopping mall entrance as they are too poor to install air-con in their own home, if they have one.
6. Shuffling at the Entrance of a Club
Being poor, they can never gain entrance to any club, so they will all gather outside the club as though they just went in and pretend to look cool by shuffling at the streets with the soft music echoing from the Club. Sometimes they will play the music from their phones and shuffle in shopping malls.
7. Making cheap 3gp format Porn
Nowadays on the internet, it is easy to find .3gp porn taken by handphone videos. All of them are made, acted and edited by Rempits during their 3R trips or gangbang activity in an abandoned building. (I guess this is the only good thing contributed by Mat Rempits, Local-made porn)
8. Singing in K-Box
If LALAs like to sing in GreenBox, Rempits like to sing in K-Box, a small box-like room with a small tv and 2 microphones to sing. Each song only cost 1 buck and if you buy 5 songs you will get 1 song for free. Normally, singing songs is not the only thing they do inside the K-Box. I’ll leave it to your imagination, (refer to activity 7).
Mat Rempit Hero
Every human in this world has a hero to look up to. Even for Mat Rempits, who are pseudo-humans too have a hero to look up to. Other than the Rempit King, the Rempit Hero is the great GHOST RIDER. If you ask any Mat Rempit what they wanna be when they grow up, 9 out of 10 will say that they wanna be Ghost Rider. However being a moron in nature they cannot differentiate between reality and imagination from a comic book. So sometimes we all can find Mat Rempits douse their bikes with kerosene and lit it so that they look like Ghost Rider’s Bike and this is the result:-
the local Rempit's Ghost Rider...I mean what's left of it after Mat Rempits douse it with kerosene and stuffs.
1 comment:
Hehe i like the picture below the Ghost Rider...looks almost the same as a burned ghost rider..anyway haiz dunno why still there is alot of Rempits around especially at nite at the Chow Kit Grand Stand (Chow Kit Monorel Station)
Post a Comment