Today it's gonna be a rant article so Ima gonna rant about the things that I hate. First of all, I hate this blog format as it always fucked up my posts. Anyways, please be reminded that:-
and if you think I'm talking about you, perhaps I am. If you don't like it you can go be retarded somewhere else.
There are many things that I hate in this world and most of it seems to come from retarded people. The thing is, I have no problem with retarded people as long they keep the hell outta my sight. Some people thinks it's cool to be stupid and this is where all the problems comes from. The things that you come across in this article may be trivial to you, but when you come to face them, most probably you will hate them too due to the inconvenience that they caused.
1. ATM Assholes
ATM Assholes in frontDo you ever wonder why when you need to get some cash at the ATM, you realised that there a friggin long line, as long as making a passport at Bolehland. On average, an ATM transaction normally takes 5 minutes unless you're trying to press out 12.5 billion. However sometimes, you realised that that Asshole in front takes like 1 friggin hour to get the machine to dispense his god-damned money.
How many hundred billion you're trying to press out? So i decided to ask an ATM asshole and find out what is taking him so long.
Typical ATM Asshole: ask me how to ATMAkcheli i wan to press out 200 bucks je
- then why the hell you need 1 hour to press out 200 bucks?
hah? 1 hour oledi ah, cause i did this la :-
1. 1st I put my card in, then I press English, but then, i learn English in Bahasa Kampung, so i dunno how to read. So i cancel the transektion.
2. Then i put my kad back in again and press BM, this time after i press my pin, i check my akaun balance to see how much i got. Then i cancel the transektion again cause i tak caya sama tu machine and repeat this step 3 times to comfirm.
3. After 3 times, i sedar that the machine is right, i dont have 200 bucks, i only got 50 bucks so i press out 10 bucks from my account 1st.
- but i thought you need 200 bucks, then why don't you press out the 50 bucks straight?
Yala, but i sked the machine cheat me mah, so i press out 10 bucks 1st la.
- like that then you need to press 5 times to get the 50 bucks right?
Ya ya, cause at home i have to bini to press, so i come here press machine.
4. Repeat step 3, 3 more times to get 40 bucks in total. (cause you can't leave your account empty)
5. then i must check my balance to see how much i got left. (repeat step 2)
6. After the transaction, i sked ppl see my pin number, so i change my pin.
7. But then, the person behind me maybe see my new pin, so i change back to my old pin.
8. Tetapi, the cctv on top maybe can see my old pin again, so i change again the pin to confuse him (repeat step 7)
9. then i collect all the receipts from the above transactions and throw it on the floor.
There, cause of 1 asshole, 1 simple transaction wilch normally takes 5 minutes become 1 hour, causing 30 people lining up at the ATM machine. Godammit, if you so damn paranoid, why don't you keep the money up your ass, I'm friggin sure that nobody gonna try to take it from you.
2. Douche Drivers
One of the many things that i hate the most other than rempits and idiots in the parliament are these douche drivers. Most douche drivers are motorphiliacs and/or retards who just got their driving license. Sometimes, douche drivers consists of women drivers who have nothing else better to do in life other than give problems to other road users. Other than retards and women drivers, old senile drivers are sometimes included within the definition of douche drivers, these so called "veteran" drivers thinks they are retired F1 racers and just cause they're old, they think that the whole world owe them their lives and should "tolerate" their half wittiness. Well listen up old man, if you want tolerance, you can get lotsa them at the old folks home and leave the real world and its road alone.
Female Douche Drivers
I have nothing against women, as long they are hawt and pretty like Megan Fox. The problem lies at the moment they cause problems on the road. If you wanna drive slowly, you drive at the slow lane, not the fast lane. The fast lane is for the REAL drivers to drive. When the sign shows 100km/hour, you drive 100km/hour, if you wanna drive 50 km/hour, you might as well go to the arcade and play Hello Kitty vs Mario Kart, cause you can't handle Initial-D Stage 5. Because of drivers like you, many people go to work late due to all the traffic jams that you have caused.
Also, the Yellow Crossed Box on the middle of an intersection means "do not stop inside the box", so if you know that you can't fucking reach to the other side, then wait for the next traffic light. Don't just cramp in there and block the whole friggin world and hope that people will forgive you just because you have big boobs. You have just caused a freaking jam you beetch.
Note that Pink car? The Jam causer.
- then why the hell you need 1 hour to press out 200 bucks?
hah? 1 hour oledi ah, cause i did this la :-
1. 1st I put my card in, then I press English, but then, i learn English in Bahasa Kampung, so i dunno how to read. So i cancel the transektion.
2. Then i put my kad back in again and press BM, this time after i press my pin, i check my akaun balance to see how much i got. Then i cancel the transektion again cause i tak caya sama tu machine and repeat this step 3 times to comfirm.
3. After 3 times, i sedar that the machine is right, i dont have 200 bucks, i only got 50 bucks so i press out 10 bucks from my account 1st.
- but i thought you need 200 bucks, then why don't you press out the 50 bucks straight?
Yala, but i sked the machine cheat me mah, so i press out 10 bucks 1st la.
- like that then you need to press 5 times to get the 50 bucks right?
Ya ya, cause at home i have to bini to press, so i come here press machine.
4. Repeat step 3, 3 more times to get 40 bucks in total. (cause you can't leave your account empty)
5. then i must check my balance to see how much i got left. (repeat step 2)
6. After the transaction, i sked ppl see my pin number, so i change my pin.
7. But then, the person behind me maybe see my new pin, so i change back to my old pin.
8. Tetapi, the cctv on top maybe can see my old pin again, so i change again the pin to confuse him (repeat step 7)
9. then i collect all the receipts from the above transactions and throw it on the floor.
There, cause of 1 asshole, 1 simple transaction wilch normally takes 5 minutes become 1 hour, causing 30 people lining up at the ATM machine. Godammit, if you so damn paranoid, why don't you keep the money up your ass, I'm friggin sure that nobody gonna try to take it from you.
2. Douche Drivers
One of the many things that i hate the most other than rempits and idiots in the parliament are these douche drivers. Most douche drivers are motorphiliacs and/or retards who just got their driving license. Sometimes, douche drivers consists of women drivers who have nothing else better to do in life other than give problems to other road users. Other than retards and women drivers, old senile drivers are sometimes included within the definition of douche drivers, these so called "veteran" drivers thinks they are retired F1 racers and just cause they're old, they think that the whole world owe them their lives and should "tolerate" their half wittiness. Well listen up old man, if you want tolerance, you can get lotsa them at the old folks home and leave the real world and its road alone.
Female Douche Drivers
I have nothing against women, as long they are hawt and pretty like Megan Fox. The problem lies at the moment they cause problems on the road. If you wanna drive slowly, you drive at the slow lane, not the fast lane. The fast lane is for the REAL drivers to drive. When the sign shows 100km/hour, you drive 100km/hour, if you wanna drive 50 km/hour, you might as well go to the arcade and play Hello Kitty vs Mario Kart, cause you can't handle Initial-D Stage 5. Because of drivers like you, many people go to work late due to all the traffic jams that you have caused.
Also, the Yellow Crossed Box on the middle of an intersection means "do not stop inside the box", so if you know that you can't fucking reach to the other side, then wait for the next traffic light. Don't just cramp in there and block the whole friggin world and hope that people will forgive you just because you have big boobs. You have just caused a freaking jam you beetch.
Note that Pink car? The Jam causer.
In addition to that, when people put the left/right signal or the hazard light, it means that we wanna move to right or left. If you dowanna give way, just step on the gas pedal and over take us, The light doesn't mean that we want you to drive next to our car so we can wind down our window and try to hit on you. It's dangerous cause you might hit on other ppl...with your car.
Further, Female Douche Drivers (FDD) sometimes causes jams in shopping mall car parks. Look, the shopping mall have 10000000 parking lots, you DO NOT need to park exactly next to the entrance. It's not like you got a friggin fat ass to drag or you have problem walking. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with parking your damn car at B3. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY no reason for you to stop at the entrance of the 1st floor parking basement and wait for other customers to leave so you can take their place. THERE IS NO REASON for you not to walk a few extra steps as it will burn some calories off your bitchy ass. If you really dowanna walk, why don't you just use the valet parking. If you can afford to buy a 4 thousand bucks LV Bag, then you can afford to pay for the valet parking.
Male Douche Drivers
The main problem with Male Douche Drivers (MDD) is that they behave like Female Douche Drivers (FDD) because they always drive as though it is that time of the month. (read above)
Usually they drive around down with their fake cars like Wiralution or Wajalution and also Perterna and pimp it up to join Pimp My Ah Beng Ride. If you have that kinda money to pimp up your car, why don't you just get a real Evolution Lancer or Eterna and skip all the retardedness. Isn't it already wasteful enough that you invested lotsa money on your hair? Does putting that retarded wing on top of your car can make you fly?
Hrm, what more can i add to pimp my car...and my hair
Further, Female Douche Drivers (FDD) sometimes causes jams in shopping mall car parks. Look, the shopping mall have 10000000 parking lots, you DO NOT need to park exactly next to the entrance. It's not like you got a friggin fat ass to drag or you have problem walking. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with parking your damn car at B3. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY no reason for you to stop at the entrance of the 1st floor parking basement and wait for other customers to leave so you can take their place. THERE IS NO REASON for you not to walk a few extra steps as it will burn some calories off your bitchy ass. If you really dowanna walk, why don't you just use the valet parking. If you can afford to buy a 4 thousand bucks LV Bag, then you can afford to pay for the valet parking.
Male Douche Drivers
Usually they drive around down with their fake cars like Wiralution or Wajalution and also Perterna and pimp it up to join Pimp My Ah Beng Ride. If you have that kinda money to pimp up your car, why don't you just get a real Evolution Lancer or Eterna and skip all the retardedness. Isn't it already wasteful enough that you invested lotsa money on your hair? Does putting that retarded wing on top of your car can make you fly?
Hrm, what more can i add to pimp my car...and my hairPutting that aside, the problem of them being a douchebag is that they think that they are Initial-D drivers. Why you may ask. This is where the problem lies. Usually people will spend some money to take driving lessons before taking the exam and get a legitimate car license. But these MDD, they prefer to take all the money and go to the arcade and play Initial-D. After they think that they are good enough to drift like mad, they use more money to buy a illegal car license, hence explains why they have such a tough time parking sideways.
In their mind, "ima drift king, ima gona drift the whole KL road". Reality check, the roads in KL are always JAMMED, full of POTHOLES, SPEED BUMPS, SPEED TRAPS, REMPITS and "saya nanti rasuah members". Also, drifting takes a toll on your car and your tyres which means you Ah Bengs need to squat on the road side to beg for money or call your tow-man who actualy drives a merc, thanks to your contribution.
Aiya, have to call tow man liao la
In their mind, "ima drift king, ima gona drift the whole KL road". Reality check, the roads in KL are always JAMMED, full of POTHOLES, SPEED BUMPS, SPEED TRAPS, REMPITS and "saya nanti rasuah members". Also, drifting takes a toll on your car and your tyres which means you Ah Bengs need to squat on the road side to beg for money or call your tow-man who actualy drives a merc, thanks to your contribution.
Aiya, have to call tow man liao laMost of the time on the main road, this is what MDD usually do:-
Here is a typical normal Bolehland road where I will try to to go to the 1st lane.
This is where I obey the rules by putting the signal lights
Look, if you wanna go to the 3rd lane, why don't you just go behind me? Why must you waste petrol to accelarate and drift to the other side? Why do you believe that your balls will melt away? Why are you retarded? What are those neon light blinking on your retarded car? why why why, so many questions, so little time, cause you have already meet up with a motor vehicle accident.
(continue in part 2)
Here is a typical normal Bolehland road where I will try to to go to the 1st lane.
This is where I obey the rules by putting the signal lights
Look, if you wanna go to the 3rd lane, why don't you just go behind me? Why must you waste petrol to accelarate and drift to the other side? Why do you believe that your balls will melt away? Why are you retarded? What are those neon light blinking on your retarded car? why why why, so many questions, so little time, cause you have already meet up with a motor vehicle accident.(continue in part 2)
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