Rzeznik's Reviews on Final Destination - Bolehland

Final Destination – Bolehland

The famous movie franchise, Final Destination is one that shows us the various methods of dying. Dying normally like old age, AIDS, cancer or in the cyber café while watching porn is not cool. If you wanna die, you gotta do it in a cool way, like using a C4 explosive or the different methods shown in Final Destination.

Of course, since Bolehland, being such a back-ridden country could not afford to produce those awesomely cool special effects like heads crushed by the weigh machine in the gym or being toasted to death in a tan-machine, the most famous way of dying is by SUDDEN DEATH. Sudden Death means died suddenly, of which I don’t quite understand how a person could “died suddenly”. If people could “died suddenly” so easily, why don’t those rempits “died suddenly” also?

Let’s us see the different methods of Sudden Death that you can only find in Final Destination - Bolehland.

Sudden Death – in Police Custody

Being a good citizen in Bolehland, it is our upmost duty to assist the cops in their investigation to “reduce crime rate” of which until now, is still rising. We’ll never know when we’re gonna get raped, or robbed. But don’t worry, if really you get raped, you can always go ask for scholarship from one of the Government Departments and also counseling session for your trauma.

Anyways, every time a crime is committed, the cops is always able to catch the suspect, and the suspect will miraculously confess to his sins and shit as though the moment he step in the police station, he found his salvation and confess to all sins (whether or not he actually commit it is irrelevant). I don’t know why, but this video kinda gives me a rough idea to it.

Sudden death 1

Well having said that, always, during the confession, the suspect will “suddenly died”. Even though the body has bruises, lacerations, branding, and other stuff, the cops will say “after he confesses, he died. I think god get to him before us (while kicking the body)”

The Kugan case is one of the many famous examples of “sudden death”. Other than that, we have this “sudden death” in the toilet:-

Source

The information we got from the cops were “dia pergi berak, tiba-tiba dia mati. I tak tau cam mana dia mati, maybe taik sumbat kat buntut…alah, u tau la act of god”

Then why does the body has bruises and stuff? – Dia ‘sudden death’ ma, sudden death memang la ade injury. Masa dia datang dia sudah cam ni.

As usual there is “no foul play” because they all do it by the rules of the lock up, so no foul. Then it will be followed with NFA which means No Fucking Further Action (read we don’t give a fuck). And don’t even think about reporting to anyone.

Another example is the detainee almost “suddenly died” from drinking thinner. Most probably the cops plan to serve him with 7-up, but didn’t know that it was thinner or thinner is usually found in the interrogation room just in case to remove any “red paint” stains.

Sudden Death – in National Service

In NS or commonly known as National Sacrifice Service, every year many young fresh high school student will be drafted to join this “service” which actually teaches you nothing but how to commit crime such as rape and rob, and not to mention making porn in 3gp format.

There, they don’t teach you how to use weapons, but they only show you a weapon. Most of the time you waste your time marching and try to peep into the girls camp. Also there are numerous “sudden paranormal possession” and sudden riot just because of a cigarette.

Every year, people dies in NS due to sudden death more than actual war-service. Sudden death in NS includes food poisoning, building collapse, suddenly disease and all sorts of act of god. Here are some examples:-

2004

• Awang Mohd Fazil Awang Borhan, 17, attached to Kem Simalajau, Bintulu, Sarawak. Died on 23 April in a drowning accident. He had been swimming with 36 other trainees at Sungai Cina, Matang, Kuching, Sarawak.
• T. Saravana, 18, attached to Kem Ethnobotany, Gua Musang, Kelantan. The trainee from 1614A Hospital Quarters, Taiping, Perak drowned while picnicking at Sungai Taman Wangi, Gua Musang, about 3 kilometres from his camp, with 250 trainees and 10 trainers.

2005

• Nurul Ashikin Karino, 17, attached to Kem Shan Sui, Tawau, Sabah. Died on 14 May after being injured during training. Karino Jalani (father of the deceased) claimed that he was not allowed to meet his daughter who fell and was injured as part of a training accident.
• S. Theresa Pauline, 17, attached to Kem Karisma, Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan. Died on 11 June after being admitted to the hospital on 23 May due to having fits. Her death was attributed to viral meningoencephalitis. Her father, S. Sarimuthu was paid RM 32,000.^[18]

2006

• Haziq Jaafar, 17, attached to Kem Padang Hijau, Kluang, Johor. The trainee from Kota Tinggi, Johor, died after a fight with another trainee at Kem Padang Hijau.

2007

• Teng Shian Shen, 18 attached to Kem Pasir Panjang, Port Dickson, Negri Sembilan. Died two weeks after being asked to return home from her training at the Pasir Panjang due to breathing difficulties.
• Ili Ameera Azlan, 17, attached to Kem Ayer Keroh, Ayer Keroh, Melaka. Died on 18 January at Malacca Hospital, after suffering breathing difficulties.^[19] The parents were paid RM 35,000.
• Prema Elenchelian, 18, attached to Kem Kisana Beach Resort, Pasir Puteh, Kelantan. The trainee from Kajang, Selangor, was found unconscious in a toilet at Jeram Linang (0230 hours) on 1 March. She was taken to the Tengku Anis Hospital where she was pronounced dead. Prema's death brought to 12 the number of trainees who have died since the programme began in 2004.^[20]
• Mohd Rafi Ameer, 18, attached to Cheneh Cemerlang Camp, Kemaman, Pahang. Died at 10.30pm on 3 September, after having fever for 1 week. Rafi had previously called his sister and told her that he had a fever, and that his leg had been swollen for nearly a week after he fell during training.^[21]

2008

• Too Hui Min, 18, attached to Kem Geo Kosmo, Behrang, Selangor. Passed away on 7 May at Slim River Hospital, Perak, three days after she started complaining of constipation. The cause of death was later determined as being toxic megacolon - her colon had been swollen and the lining had thinned due to septicemia. Her family is desperate to know why she wasn't sent to the hospital earlier. As a result of this latest death bringing the total so far to 16, several DAP leaders are calling for the suspension or even the scrapping of the National Service programme.^[22][23]

Afiz Zuhairi Ahmat Rozali, 18, attached to Kem Sentosa, Chenderiang, Perak. Died on 16 April at Teluk Intan Hospital, Perak, after a brief febrile illness. He was treated by camp paramedics several times before finally being transferred to hospital where he died in less than 24 hours

Eventhough I’m not very good in maths cause I study maths and science in Bahasa Kampung I can still see that there are many death cases here. Other than sudden death, there also have ‘sudden rape” or “sudden food poisoning” and also “sudden building collapsed”.

Food Poisoning

When there’s 1 case of food poisoning, it’s acceptable. When there are bout 55 cases of food poisoning, it’s abit worrying but still comprehendible but when there are 155 fucking cases of food poisoning, one must ask wtf are there serving those people in NS camps. And I can still remember there’s this commercial bout this girl saying that the food in NS is very good.

This is what they serve you in NS

Sudden Death – in MACC

In my whole life, I never heard of a witness being interrogated like a suspect for 7 god damned hours. Also, I also never heard of somebody who is sleeping downstairs at the ground floor will suddenly die next door. It seems that he sleepwalked up to the 14th floor and then jump down and die. Before that he tore his pants at the butt part to show that he is committing suicide.

This issue raises many questions that I cannot raise here. In a security building there’s no cctv even though the current government spend millions to set up cctv which actually doesn’t work. There’s no key card to enter any room where anyone can just walk to any room and “suddenly die”. This means that I can simply walk into the building and piss at the pantry and then take a dump at the documents room, then I can go sleep at the ground floor and go home later and nobody gives a damn on what I’m doing.

As far as I know shit does happens but for this matter, I like to watch this video. (It’s not that I’m implicating anything).

Parody of Truth

Now it is not safe anymore in Bolehland. You’ll either gonna get killed by rempits and rapists or getting killed if the cops get you, or you get drafted into NS and also helping out as a witness in corruption cases. God please save Bolehland.