When I was a kid, other than the Air-Con, the best human creation was the TV. The TV was the only form of entertainment that I ever had that time. So most of the show I watch was cartoons and other educational shows. Now speaking about educational shows for children, my favourite was
Ok, the educational shows that I hated the most were the damn Telefugliestubbies and Barney the Paedo Purple Dinosaur. I hated Teletubbies so much that I don’t even know WTF the show is about. All I know is, there are 4 Aliens-ET-Baby hybrids with TV on their stomach where they show their personal porn collection to each other (they can’t watch the TV on their own tummies so they have to watch their friends’ TV). Since I did not watch any of them, I can’t write about them.
However, I did watched a couple episodes of Barney when I was baby-sitting my cousins. During that time, I really wonder why the heck kids would watch this big damn Purple Dinosaur. They don’t teach anything. In
Barney on the other hand, teaches nothing, they might as well just rename it as ‘Baloney and Friends’ or what not. In every episode, its like the same damn thing in Ultraman; the monster come, trash up some places then Ultraman comes and beats the crap outta the monster, and then the monster open a can of whoop-ass back on Ultraman to balance up the odds. Finally Ultraman thinks that it has reach the 30 minutes show time limit or when he runs outta battery – (the red blinking alarm system on his chest) he shoot the monster with some sort of laser. The same thing happens in Barney’s show, the kids gonna stay back after school, then Barney will suddenly come out of no where and force the kids to hug him and sing song. Then he just disappears after singing his favourite song ‘I Love You’:-
I love you, You love me;
We’re a happy family;
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you;
Won’t you say you love me too.
Awww, how sweet can this big purple dinosaur be?
To tell you the truth, I hate them, I hate teletubbies and Barney so much that if I have a chance to see them on the street, ima gonna beat them up there and then. Kids should watch shows like Ultraman or Power Rangers where they teach kid martial arts and self-defense. With the crime rate rising high nowadays, and the government only knows how to install security cameras which doesn’t work and the cops are used to search for some unclear porn dvds, you never know when a paedo kidnapper is gonna kidnap you for ‘you know what’. Its like when you’re a kid, your parents always tell you that every stranger down the street is gonna kidnap you to sell and shit or chop your hands off to force you to beg. Chances are, they can and they will. If you watch ‘Ultraman’, at least you can put up a fight or give a struggle when you are facing these problems.
Ok, I might be off topic here. Anyways, of all of those kids’ shows out there, I hate Barney the Purple Dinosaur the most. During my research, I watch 3 seasons of that retarded show and I can tell you, Barney ain’t teaching nuts to the kids. The only thing he ever does is hugging those kids and taking advantage of them by pretending to dance with the children and grab their behind once a while. You must think I’m joking. If you don’t believe me, just grab any Barney dvds and watch for yourselves.
Paedo not Purple
Barney the Purple Dinosaur or sometimes known as Barniscus paedophilious is famous for this child-friendly approachable attitude. Kid just love him, he’s like a kids magnet.
Previously, when Barney first came out, this is how he looks like. At that time, clearly no kids gonna go near him if he were to come out like that. So he gotta change his whole image to this. Which was actually successful by looking at all the victims children fans that he has.
Have you ever wonder why Barney only comes out when the children are all alone? How come when there’s an adult appearance, Barney will return to his soft-toy form. Why can adults join the fun? After all learning is an ageless process. Why can’t Barney conduct his so called ‘learning fun and games’ under the watchful eyes of adults? Does he have anything to hide?
The answer is, Yes, he got lots of things to hide. What you did not know is, he actually has a share in Michael Jackson’s Neverland project. You can see this joint-venture movie which was not release world-wide.
However, he pulled off from the partnership with the King of ‘Pop’ing when MJ disagree to name the project as 
Also, he’s been seen selling kids to rich old-farts for god-knows-what reasons.
I’m sure most of you still remember his famous song;-
I love you, You love me;
We’re a happy family;
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you;
Won’t you say you love me too.
Now, what’s up with ‘We’re a happy family’? You’re a dinosaur and I’m a human, there no friggin bloodline between these 2 different species. Furthermore the way Barney puts it is like a paedo telling some kids, ‘come lets play ‘family’, I’m gonna be the the daddy and you are the mommy, come lets go to bed together’. It doesn’t sound correct does it?
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you;
To tell you the truth, if a person does this to a hawt women like Jessica Alba, there is absolutely no problem, but not kids. If Barney somehow invited Megan Fox from the Transformers and sang this phrase to her, really, I have no objection, and guess what, I’m gonna sing along with him too and respect him like how I respect Edison Chen. (*Edison Chen is a hero to all guys out there but an asshole to all girls out there) But in this case, he invites kids as young as 3 yo’ll and tell them these things. This is sick, and just look at his face when he’s surrounded by children. Makes you wanna beat him up like how Ultraman open a can of whoop-ass on Dinosaurs.
Won’t you say you love me too. – hell no!!!!
This is how Barney looks like when you ask him for a 1 on 1, Lala style.
*I'm not the guy who is beating him up.
Barney’s Friends
1. Baby Boob
Well I dunno about you guys, but for one, WHAT KINDA NAME IS BABY BOOB? Nobody in their right mind will name something as Baby Boob except a Paedo. And Barney’s a male dinosaur, where the heck he got this baby? The only reason I can think of why he brings along a ‘baby-dinosaur’ is to pretend to be harmless to their victims, like a wolf wearing a sheep skin. Either that, or he’s sick of baby dinosaurs and he’s planning to hunt other species.
Baby Boob is seen in most of Barney’s episodes, as a lure to the children. But, seriously, this 'dinosaur' doesn't look like a baby to me.
BJ
No matter how I look at it, this guy is a Triceratops. And as far as I know, there is neither ‘B’ nor ‘J’ in the word ‘Triceratops’ and I guess you all know what does it stands for if you see the ‘Job’ he does.
Furthermore, in all the episodes I watched, BJ seldom comes out. The only time he comes out is when the number of Boy kids are more than Girl kids. (e.g. in 10 children, 6 of them are boys). One can wonder on why he even bother to appear on screen.
Therefore, no matter how I look at him, I still hate him and next time when I have kids, they’re gonna watch wrestling or
No comments:
Post a Comment