Rzeznik's research on LALA plague PART 2

after interviewing lots of LALAs during the course of my research, i realize that LALAs can only speak various dialects of Chinese and nothing more. Some are capable of speaking and typing in English but their vocabulary are only limited to 4 letter words and words with 1 syllable, anything more will be too difficult for them to pronounce. Currently the only English words that they can pronounce/type without mistake is STUN, STOP and ULTI. Anything longer than these words will be shortened with unrecognizable abbreviations.

for e.g.
LALA A: 2day ha me xd ur 1 8 ak u noe (i don't know what the heck he's talking about)

LALA B: ez hor..u 1 2 do tis...u 1st dd..den sd...den gg lol

also, for LALAs the a single word has no boundaries of meaning such as the words 'GAY' 'NOOB' 'LOL'

LALA 1: u noe hor 2day i 'gay' this guy...so 'gay' u noe...den hor he 'gay' tis item...
LALA 2: aiya tis traffic light 'NOOB' la...so slow wan....aiya tis wan 'NOOB' toilet...kenot flush 1

LALA 3: dis is so LOL lo i tel u
RJ: do u even know what LOL stands for?
LALA3: aiya u tik i 2pid meh...LOL means L@ncau Onli Long

and here's more example:
LALA 4: i wan leaver liao late jor...u dowan liver meh?
LALA 5: if i r an hero ah.....
LALA 6: me father ah is defective (i think he meant detective)

in addition to that, most of the time, they are incapable of spelling right. Normally they will try to type it out with numbers so that they do not need to remember too many letters

LALA A: cre8 game lor....i w8 so 9ss de... (create game, i wait so nicely)

LALA B: fak...fuk....fark....fack....faaaak...
RJ: after so many tries, u still cant spell it right? come on man, thats the world's most easiest word to spell

some LALAs cant even type in English and thus, they resort to emoticons and gibberish to express themselves. I have translated some of their gibberish:-

=.= : this is how my face looks like when I can't read
o0o: is the shape of my 'equipment', the middle being the longer one, beat that
=.=": I'm trying to cover my rotten eye with my hair, but its not long enough
/gg: I dunno what to say, i just type it for fun
...: I have nothing to say but i just type these dots to show that I participating in the conversation
/swt: stands for Salty Wet Testicles because my testicle is sweating right now



Interviews:
Name: Faggot LALA 1 (FL1)

i have problems communication with this guy because he speaks very softly like a faggot and as usual the hair will be covering his rotten eye due to extreme usage of hair-gels. Notice he is acting cute like a faggot and trying to make a move on me, I have to restrain myself from assaulting him during interview.

RJ: good day FL1
FL1: harlow...ni hau..u tok hua yue ma?
RJ: i can but i would like to continue this conversation in English so that other people can understand us
FL1: nono le...me england no good...coz hor at skel last time me feil england wan ma...for wat lern england?...redbox also i no sing england song
RJ: why not learn how to speak proper English? isn't it an important asset for us as we need the English language to work in the real world outside
FL1:aiya....no ned le...i pro hua yue ma..me wok als no need england ma...
RJ: do you mind telling me what work doesn't need English?
FL1: yer...me play super-dancer-online n dota ma...i play eday u noe..no ned england wan me tel u

RJ: those are online games, not jobs...can you speak louder? anyways as far as i know, you need to type in english even in online games right?
FL1: yer me std england enuf lo..me awiz go forum pos many typing wan ma...u c tis forum (WWW.LALAFORUM.COM) ...ter ter i pos me pics hor n ask ppl rate me lo..i tel u ah...muz rate me gud u noe..if not hor i sad sad wan =.= ^^
RJ: WTF is =.= and ^^?
FL1: akceli me also duno wan...me c ppl use me ma use lo /gg
RJ: Now WTF is /gg? can you please speak louder? (really pissed off now)
FL1: me also duno neways dun care le...u rate me la...u c me suai onot?...how much u wan gime? 8/10?
RJ: -8/10 and i think you look like an idiot, thank you for your time (walks off)
FL1: YOR dun go la...rate me 1st le pls pls

later on due to my intense research i did visit the said forum (name has been changed intentionally) and i realized that their thread as 10 pages long. This is why:-

LALA 1: HaRlOw mE NaMe iS bInG-bLInG gAlZ...rAtE mIIII hOX...Miuax MuAx...GuD o bAd aLzO nVm

LALA 7: OOOOOOO ME 1ST TO POST HEHEHEHE!!!!!
(RY: if nothing to post then don't post, LALAs like to post nothing just for fun)

LALA 2: Ư ۷ẼŗŸ Q le!!! i gib u 9/10

LALA1: nO lA pPl SaY mE uGlY o (laughing herself..oo i am damn pretty..ppl say i'm cute)

LALA3: wow so prittee ooo vvelli cutezzzzzz 10/10 (i think its herself pretend tobe someone else)

LALA1: No lA pAiSeH lA Mi NoT pReTi Le 10qqqqqq hoX

and this list continues until like page 5...and then

RJ: You look like deformed hamster with heavy paint makeup -5/10

LALA1: hAr!!!!??!1 Y u SaY mE hAmSTR hAh...I pReTi N Q u nOe...Y -5 So LoW...SiAo...u c other ppl say me cute and leng lui....

p/s: its tiring trying to type like her

LALA6: u dun lik hor u dun cum ere le...post ur pix lor..... knnccb

LALA 7: *quotes everyone's posts* =.= swt(again, nothing to post they just quote other's post and add some gibberish in the end just to make their post looks long)

and then the same cycle continues :- you are pretty, no i'm not, you're cute, no i'm not...

it's clear that LALA floods the internet with these offensive pictures with hope that people will try to tell them that they're pretty or good looking. Eventhough they said that they will accept any comments whether good or bad, one must note that they only accept GOOD comments so that they could lie to themselves and bad comments will either be flamed or ignored.

END OF PART 2